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The Labors of Love
Feb. 21st, 2006 08:44 pmOne of my friends has an ex-boyfriend who wants her back desperately. He asked her what it would take for him to achieve that. We came up with the following list. I know it's one morethan the Labors of Hercules, but these are modern times, and with the extra tools at his disposal, I think this is fair.
1) Swim the Pacific ocean from Tokyo to anywhere on the western coast of the United States. He can have a cooler with food and water tied behind him, but no raft, no sight copters or boats, and no tracking devices.
2) Climb the Eiffel Tower naked. No ropes or other gear is allowed.
3) actively participate in a successful campaign to elect a democratic president to the white house. This means working on the staff at a national level and actively trying to get people to vote for them. (He's a staunch republican)
4) Earn a degree at the doctorate level in a field unrelated to his degree in photography.
5) Present her with a moon rock that he picked up from the moon himself.
6) Achieve peace in the Middle East through his actions. This requires that people be living in the Middle east -- no fair nuking them, as the peace of the grave is not the goal.
7) Climb the Empire State building with his bare hands, wearing a gorilla suit. This means to the top, though he doesn't have to climb the dirigible mooring mast.
8) Walk across australia wearing nothing but a loin cloth. The only tool allowable is a bowie knife. When finished, repeat starting at the eastern tip of Siberia at the bearing strait and walk to India, Poland, or Turkey.
9) Restart Pee Wee Herman's career.
10) Solve hunger in India. Again, this cannot be done with genocide.
11) rectify the differing faiths in Christianity, returning them to one unified faith that has the same dogma and interpretation of the scriptures.
12) Colonize Mars.
13) Finally, when all these are done, remove both is arms and legs without the assistance of anyone else, human or otherwise. They may be reattached at a later date. Mechanical assistance is allowed.
I think he's getting off easy. What do y'all think?
1) Swim the Pacific ocean from Tokyo to anywhere on the western coast of the United States. He can have a cooler with food and water tied behind him, but no raft, no sight copters or boats, and no tracking devices.
2) Climb the Eiffel Tower naked. No ropes or other gear is allowed.
3) actively participate in a successful campaign to elect a democratic president to the white house. This means working on the staff at a national level and actively trying to get people to vote for them. (He's a staunch republican)
4) Earn a degree at the doctorate level in a field unrelated to his degree in photography.
5) Present her with a moon rock that he picked up from the moon himself.
6) Achieve peace in the Middle East through his actions. This requires that people be living in the Middle east -- no fair nuking them, as the peace of the grave is not the goal.
7) Climb the Empire State building with his bare hands, wearing a gorilla suit. This means to the top, though he doesn't have to climb the dirigible mooring mast.
8) Walk across australia wearing nothing but a loin cloth. The only tool allowable is a bowie knife. When finished, repeat starting at the eastern tip of Siberia at the bearing strait and walk to India, Poland, or Turkey.
9) Restart Pee Wee Herman's career.
10) Solve hunger in India. Again, this cannot be done with genocide.
11) rectify the differing faiths in Christianity, returning them to one unified faith that has the same dogma and interpretation of the scriptures.
12) Colonize Mars.
13) Finally, when all these are done, remove both is arms and legs without the assistance of anyone else, human or otherwise. They may be reattached at a later date. Mechanical assistance is allowed.
I think he's getting off easy. What do y'all think?
